When I was home sick on Tuesday, I took Theraflu and then went back to bed and had a weird dream.
In the dream, I drank and got fucked up. (As many AAs know, these dreams can be scary). P. and I were at a Shadow Lane party, at some beach-side hotel. I remember details like the food we were eating that afternoon, after the night that I drank. The food was provided as part of the party, but was pretty bad -- hot dogs and such. It seemed like a Sunday, the day when everyone was going home, but there were enough people still around, hanging out, just talking.
In the hotel, I went through this door where I thought I'd seen people enter a few minutes earlier. It appeared they had gone through this tiny interior door, which opened onto old stone steps leading down. It was a tight stairway. There was a very low ceiling and you couldn't walk upright. I went down until the stairs took a turn, then I chickened out and went back up. I thought there might still be people down there, and that they might attack me. I has this feeling that there was something down there I should try to find, or was SUPPOSED to find, like a hidden treasure, but I decided to wait.
I went to try to find P. I couldn't seem to remember where our room was. I felt that he was upset with me. Maybe just because I drank, but possibly because I had done something stupid while drinking.
Meanwhile, my cats, Rocky and Buster, were roaming around. (Only, Buster in the dream was more like a large dog). Suddenly they both jumped off the second floor balcony into the ocean. I didn't know why they would do such a thing. I was scared and ran downstairs to find them.
Buster got hurt, because he didn't jump as far, or had jumped in the wrong spot. I had to look at Buster first to make sure he was all right. Lifeguards on the beach had administered first aid. He was on a stretcher -- he had hit a fence after he jumped. The fence part actually stuck into him. But they said he would be okay.
I ran to the beach, crying and trying to see where Rocky had gone. He was swimming away. I kept yelling for him. I could see an orange spot a ways out from the beach. He was too far for me to get to. I knew he wouldn't be strong enough; he shouldn't have swam that far, and he was too fat, and he wouldn't make it back. I thought maybe he was trying to get back and just went the wrong way in his panic. I thought he was going to drown.
It was misty over the ocean and hard to see. Suddenly I saw something. I finally made it out; it was a lifeguard on a surfboard paddling back toward the beach, towing Rocky. (P. thinks it's hilarious that in my dream, Rocky had to be towed like a barge.) When they finally got back to the beach, I scooped Rocky up and held him, but he still wanted to get loose and run around. I put him back into his crate. I was so happy he was rescued.
In the meantime I was trying to figure out why I couldn't remember what I did the night before. The hotel managers were lecturing me, saying I wasn't allowed to have pets roaming around, and that they'd already told me the night before. I kept wondering whether I'd had a drink, but I didn't have a hangover and I didn't remember drinking, so I wasn't sure.
One lady that I was hanging out with confirmed that she'd seen me do at least two shots. Now I had a witness that I'd drank. I was hanging out with these ladies, who seemed "rougher" than most SL people, and was wondering if I should ask the one lady if she wanted to go investigate those stairs with me, because she seemed adventurous. But I had a feeling she wouldn't believe me that there might be money hidden down there, or she might think we were trespassing and not want to risk getting caught.
P. was acting distant, like I'd done something to him while drunk, so that was awkward, too. I asked him what I'd done, and he said I was going around crying and talking a LOT. I felt really embarrassed. Then I thought, but this is not the first time I've drank. Remember that time a month or so back I had a few sips of ... (This usually happens when I have a drinking dream; I think of other times that I drank and did not admit it. When I wake up I have to remind myself that I really have NOT had a drink).
Suddenly, Rocky is running around again, and I'm like, "Shit, the box wasn't closed right!" I got someone to help me and we finally got it properly put together and him back inside. I didn't feel good at all, because everyone seemed to be looking at me funny, or coming up to me and asking if I was OK. I was eating a lot in the dream, too.
I went up to the lifeguard who had saved Rocky. I had a "Thank You" card that was supposed to be for someone else, but it seemed appropriate for this situation, and I gave it to him with some cash. But it wasn't very much cash, and he and his coworker gave each other looks like I'd done something inappropriate. I was gushing all over with gratitude, and he kept saying, "Just doing my job, ma'am." Finally, I left, because they didn't seem to want to hear about how important Rocky was to me.
P. and I were supposed to be leaving to go home, but that kept getting delayed, too. Kept forgetting one thing or another.
And I woke up wondering if I'd REALLY had a drink... either this time or the "time before" I'd remembered in the dream.
Later on, when I knew I hadn't really drank, I wondered if there was something else I was supposed to feel guilty about, and whether this dream was telling me something about issues I need to work on in my real life. And why did my cats want to jump in the ocean?
The walls are done. Hooray! And we got done early enough to put up our lovely new baker's rack.
