When someone is simply disturbing

(Cross-posted from MySpace -- http://www.myspace.com/davidiamametelle)

What do you do when you're at a small local party or gathering and there's that one person you'd simply not want to have to see or deal with? When the rest of the crowd seems to have no problem with him or her, but because of your own personal history with this person, you feel awkward around him in small gatherings?

I've not stayed away from parties, but I have avoided smaller social events where I'd be in close proximity to this man for long periods of time.

The host of one of the party groups I belong to questioned us about him because of rumors that she wanted more info on -- she'd heard that he'd been banned from another group, and wanted to know what my husband and I knew. We told her what we knew first hand, and what we'd heard second or third hand, and clarified the difference.

She feels he has done nothing to her or anyone she knows, and that enough of the stories were not based on eye-witness accounts, so she's chosen to give this man the benefit of the doubt and include him in her members-only parties. Of course, he's allowed to go to Paddles, which is not private. Therefore, he's been at just about all of the recent parties and OTK nights we've attended.

I HAVE to respect her decision. I would be a hypocrite if I didn't. With the gossip that sometimes flies around our small spanking community, you HAVE to form your own opinion on a person and go with what you see, go with your OWN feelings.

My uncomfortability with this person is NOT based on rumors. He has bothered me, directly, in the past. He's acted like a stalker. Followed me around at Paddles and other parties, lurked on repeated occasions. This doesn't happen anymore (to ME) that I can tell, but it happened for a long enough period of time that I got really turned off to him. I have friends he's acted similarly toward. The alleged behavior that got him banned from the larger spanking group went beyond stalking, was more physical. I was not a witness, but I trust the people who told me about it.

Smaller social gatherings, including a possible bowling night, and a weekend "camping" trip at one of the group member's cabins, could be lots of fun. They would be great opportunities to get to know OTHER people better.

But right now, I don't think I can do it. So every time a group member proposes an activity, and he expresses an interest in attending, I cross it off my list of things I want to do. Should I be more forgiving? Am I biting off my nose to spite my face? Probably... but he creeps me out.