Fighting the spread

I am in week two of an exercise program to get rid of some extra pounds that have accumulated recently. I am getting up earlier every morning and doing 40 pushups and 100 crunches, at minimum, plus other weight training. Later I'll try to go to the gym or walk at lunchtime. Or both.

I know it's a vanity thing; P says I look just fine, but I really have to fight the spread now that I'm in my forties. My weight was never easy to keep down; I weigh about thirty pounds less then I did in high school, but it's tough to keep it from creeping up. They say your hormones change in your forties, making it harder to burn calories -- whereas before I could lose weight on a 2,000 calorie diet, now I have to cut back to 1,500.

But I hate counting calories. So I'm just focusing on a few key things -- more fiber, less fat, less junk food.

We have been invited to a lot of parties recently. Christenings, birthdays, pool parties, etc., where there's been lots and lots of food. I've also stayed at my mom's house overnight a lot more than usual this spring/summer. She always has tons of junk food and just regular food with potential to become junk in her cabinets and fridge. For instance: peanut butter. R and I no longer buy peanut butter because it is a horrible temptation for us (mostly him, but I agree we don't need it in the house). Mom usually has two or three jars of peanut butter in her pantry.

I say to P before going to one of these parties, "What is my strategy for tonight, as far as resisting the food?" He sometimes says, "Don't be obsessed" -- meaning, it's OK to have some dessert or snacks in moderation. But other times he just says, "Don't eat anything but healthy stuff," or, "Don't stand near the food table."

But I don't know what my strategy is right now, other than to become obsessed with the goal of losing weight -- to want that more than I want a cookie or some Sun Chips (one of my favorites). I find it hard to lose weight without being obsessed, without "fighting" my cravings -- I have a lot of cravings.

Good news is, over last couple of days, my attitude has changed about it. When I started the pushup/situp regimen, I was not hopeful at all that I could continue and that it would do any good. Sometimes you get to a certain weight and you think that's it, you're too old to change things.

But last couple of days I've felt so much better about it. I now believe I can lose weight and WILL lose weight. But I think the fact that I'm not extremely heavy to begin with helps. I felt pretty good about my body on Saturday at the party. I was simply wearing my favorite jeans, which show off my butt in a good way, and a sleeveless green henley top that showed off my arms. I'd only been doing the pushups for a week and I thought I was noticing a difference already.

I will not weigh myself just yet. I might want to give it a month.